Yoga Out Loud 3

I have went back and forth between several important topics.

Chronicling my new Yoga experience is important to me.

So choosing a topic is serious stuff.

What should I discuss next?

Which topic is more important?

More applicable?

That careful meditation and reflection brings me to today’s post.

“The Fear of Passing Gas”

I know….you are asking yourself, “Is she really that shallow? That concerned about what other people think that she worries about such a normal bodily function?”

Well, let me just speak for me.

“Yes, yes I am.”

And lest you judge….

Apparently, I am NOT the only one.

Here is an excerpt from an article written by Ann Pizer. Apparently she is a Yoga guru and writer and answered this readers heartfelt question using her expertise. I felt the need, although not asked for, to share my own “lack of expertise” with you all and I share that in bold after her answer.

You’re welcome.

Anne’s answer is¬† first. Mine after.

Embarrassing Yoga Questions By

About.com Guide

Updated January 21, 2011
1. I always seem to be farting in yoga class. Is there anything I can do?

Anne’s answer: Passing gas while practicing yoga is actually very common (prenatal yoga classes are the worst!). You’re moving your body in ways that will stir up your guts, which is a good thing. We’re all adults here, and farting is perfectly natural. I say, gauge the mood of the class and act accordingly–just like you would at, say, a cocktail party. If the class is light-hearted and casual, you might humorously acknowledge your emission. If the teacher and students are dead serious, pretend that nothing untoward has occurred. And maybe think about skipping those beans at lunch next time.

My answer: Oh, honey. Are you so shallow??? !!!!!!

Cool! So am I!!!

Well, let’s start with the main issue. We do not say “fart”, we say “fluff”. And although I want to instruct you to pull up your children, sell your home and move from the country if such “outbursts” are happening, I realize that may be rash. I do ask that if this seems to happen quite often as you stated in your question, please position yourself in class so that no one will wonder what direction such “outburst” came from. My hiney is clenched for a reason. My sphincter muscles are locked and “not loaded”. Know what I’m saying? Respect that hard work and make sure that no one suspects your bodily functions are coming from my direction. Kk? Also, as far as acknowledging it happening, just know this. If one EVER, EVER, EVER escapes from my direction, IT WILL NEVER BE ADMITTED IN COURT OR LIFE, got it? It will also be followed up with mouth “fluffing” sounds. These are given to confuse anyone else in the room as to exactly what it was that “think” they might have heard. Several of those are great for throwing the crowd off…… or making yourself more obvious.

Not that I would know.

Another online article
Shared this excellent and informative video
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